Monday, May 23, 2011

HANCHINAMUNCHKIN ARRIVAL!


The Hunchinamunchkins made their debut on May 11th, 2011! And boy, did they enter the world with a PARTAAAYY!! The Watkins'/Hanchinamani's know how to throw a celebration and these little boys were drenched in love the moment they entered the world...well, the moment we found out they existed!
Declan James came in at a whopping 6 lbs 2 oz at 9:41 am, followed a minute later by his equally adorable brother, Ethan Emery at 6 lbs. 4 oz. 









It is AMAZING. All of it. I have tears in my eyes as I write this. Thinking of the night before they were here, eating dinner with Joe and Katie, while those 2 boys sat snugly in Katie's tummy. And just a few short hours later, they were in our arms! 



It's such an amazing feeling when babies come into your life. They don't have to say anything. They don't have to do anything. Our natural reaction is to just love them with everything we have. To want to be better people for them. To want them to have better things than we had. To want them to know Jesus as early as they can comprehend Him. To want them to feel safe, and loved, and cherished. And to want them to grow up knowing they don't need to do anything to deserve it, because their aunty will love them no matter what. 

So happy for Joey and Katie. My brother has been my built- in best friend since I was born. And Katie has fit right in with that role since she became my sister. My heart is bursting for the 4 them and I can't wait for this new exciting journey the Lord has blessed us with.

For a better recap of the day from my brother's eyes, go here !

Pic from Google



 Baby Barton, I heard this song today and thought of you...

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love

--Bob Dylan

Mother's Day

I'm way behind here. I hardly remember Mother's Day this year, but it was my 'first'...technically, or untechnically? I did NOT stand up at church when they made mother's stand up, so maybe that's what will qualify me. I was however, showered by my wonderful husband on this day. A day where I was newly 11 weeks pregnant. A mother's day where I didn't know the gender of my baby. My baby's face, or smell were still only dreams to me. My baby's name has probably not even been thought up yet.  Next mother's day I will have a 5 or 6 month old bundle of joy in my arms and this life I live now will be nothing more than a distant memory. So here's what I woke up to on Mother's Day 2011:



Homemade YUMMY smoothie


Homemade Waffles


Flowers with the sweetest card



Now, just to brag a little, this is not only a mother's day occasion. This is a weekend event for me. Owen has shown me in the past 10 months of marriage that he is honestly, the kindest, most selfless, thoughtful human I have ever met in my whole life. And not just to me. I see how he is with his friends, with my friends, with my family. God could not have blessed me with a better man to be the father of my children. I am overwhelmed by him.

Friday, May 6, 2011

It's Beautiful

I thought pregnant mom's are given 9 months before their social lives become non-existent. My best friends these days are my bed and my bathroom floor. They know everything about me. How it's possible to lay down for a nap and wake up 13.5 hours later. How my husband has been on the run for every kind of popsicle and ice cream in Washington State. How a 26 year old can still cry in the middle of the night for her 'mommy'. The many conversations I've replayed over and over for the day I ever get to meet Eve face to face. What was she thinking?!

I've seen my big plans of going to India on a missions trip with my husband this summer, torn to shreds. Suddenly, our beautiful condo in downtown Edmonds seems too small. The thought that the rest of our lives will never be the same again is terrifying.  There have been fears of losing the friends we have, because do people really wanna hang out with a baby all the time? Not to mention how many times I've heard, and am sick of "Wow, you guys sure didn't waste any time"...as if I'm not aware of how long, or how NOT long, we've been married.

So, so far I have seen the bad and the ugly of pregnancy. But, I've also seen the magic. 

The look on Owen's face when he saw the baby's heart beating for the first time. A look I'll never forget. One proud papa. While my mom said over and over "God's little creation. His little miracle"
 
I've heard Owen tell some of his 25 + year old buddies on the phone that we're pregnant. To hear grown men shouting praises and approvals and their congratulations and amazement over this life that is ours, has brought so much joy to my heart. I am overwhelmed by how proud I am of the friends he has picked to be in our lives.

And my girls, to see the happy tears that have been shed over this life, the promises of help whenever it's needed and the excitement to start this journey with us, as if this child is their own. I am so overwhelmed with gratitude for the friends and family that God has blessed me with. They say it takes a village...I'd say this baby is being born into a beautiful village, ready to nurture and love this child and possibly take him or her on a few hikes ( no rock climbing).

I wrote this two days after we found out we were pregnant and I have had to go back to it a million times...

" It's been 2 days since my world changed. I think today is officially the day that I realized I want you more than anything I've ever wanted. The past 2 days I've wondered if God made some kind of mistake. If He meant to give you to someone else. Surely not us. Us with our plans of travelling the world. Or doing missions. Going on vacations. He surely made some sort of cosmic error in thinking we know how to raise a child. But your aunty Bina said something to me today that made those feeling of inadequacy go away--she reminded me that I have waited for this my whole life--that you are my destiny. She also said to me:

'Don’t forget, one of the biggest things you can do is love and raise a child up in the Lord.  The impact of that is unfathomable.  That child goes out and influences this world and huge things happen in that legacy.  This IS your ministry.
' "

So with that, it is my highest honor in life to say that this child has been given to us by a gracious God who is trusting us with this life. That it is now our responsibility to raise this child up to know, serve, and love Him and His people.

This little life has already changed mine.  I've wanted a child for as far back as my memory goes.

It's a scary thing to watch your dreams come to life.

It's terrifying and breathtaking and unsettling.

It's beautiful
 

Saturday, March 26, 2011

One day at a Time








I had a photograph inside my mind of all I'd do.
But then,  my point of view changed the day that I met you.
There are dreams that we will grow 
and there are dreams that we let go
the only dream that I can't lose is you.

I'll be the biggest fan of any plan you call your own.
I see a willow tree, a family, a happy home.
There are dreams that we will grow 
and there are dreams that we let go.
The only dream that I can't lose is you.

As the seasons change, 
I'll walk with you down every road.
And you can count on me, you know you'll never be alone.
There are dreams that we will grow
and there are dreams that we let go.
The only dream that I can't lose, the only dream I can't bear to lose, the only dream that I can't lose is you.

-Tyrone Wells and Elina

My cousin, Nisha, sent me this song, by Tyrone Wells and his wife Elina. I'm trying to learn what dreams God wants me to let go, and which ones He wants me to grow. It's a painful process, letting dreams die. Everything I've created in my mind for myself has to be torn down. Even the ones with good intentions and pure motives behind them. You watch them crumble to the ground and suddenly nothing makes much sense anymore. It's like that moment when you let go of a balloon, into open sky. You can still see it. But no matter how high you try to jump, you know it will soon be gone forever. I feel like that. Like I can still see some dreams, but they are no longer within reach.

But it's a beautiful process watching other dreams grow. The one's I know I can't lose. The dreams where God made the blueprints and is trusting me to build.

My dreams are in sure danger of collapsing if they aren't built on His.

So I'm choosing His.

One day at a time.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

(Thank you Google for your image)



I had a dream 2 nights ago. There was a world-wide earthquake. The ground beneath all of us was shaking. It felt like we were falling off the planet. Like it was no longer our stability. And my friend and I prayed.


I woke up to find that Japan had been hit with an 8.9 earthquake. And as the events unfolded throughout the day I just kept thinking how crazy it all was.Wondering how truly chaotic it must be to be over there. How the country was literally shaken to the core.


I then read a Facebook post by a friend that said 'Japan is one of my favorite places I have ever traveled, with the nicest people in the world! So sad to see all the devastation there.'


Suddenly, it went from thinking of this country as a whole being devastated, but I saw individual faces. God sees individual faces. Not the country of Japan in shambles, but each individual life. Each individual need.


And then I broke.


I hate thinking of people as groups. It makes the world so much more beautiful when you see individual people. With individual hurts, and problems, and lives lost, and love lost. We are just people. Poor or rich. We all have hurts. And loves. And fears. We are individuals. And compassion comes stronger for individuals, rather than groups.


Thank God that He sees me as an individual person. Not just an American. Not just a girl. Just an Indian. Just a Washington resident. A Husky alum. A sister. A daugher. A wife. A friend.


His compassion exceeds the box that human nature puts us in.


Praising Him today for seeing hearts and not crowds.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

A Price was Paid

(Thank you Google for your image)

Pull up a chair. Butter your popcorn. And watch. Watch while men get out their tool belts. The nails. The hammers. Watch as they use those tools to fasten His flesh to a piece of wood. He can't hardly breathe. He is tired. He is humiliated. He is scared. He hurts.

And you're just sitting there. Watching him. Like it's a baseball game. Like you're at a movie theater.

I've been so bothered and convicted by the way I view Jesus. The way the American church views Jesus. Acting as if  we were called to this life as spectators. To watch. To not be transformed. But to conform. As if the price was cheap. As if it costed nothing.

Grace. Justice. Forgiveness. It was all very expensive. And we get the "all-expense paid" gift.

Yet, we live our lives as if we can go on doing whatever we want. Feeding our own desires. Living our lives with no sacrifice on our part. Hoping to get the best of both worlds.

When Jesus came, He came from heaven. He left a place where there are no tears, no ridicule, no wars. And He stepped into that very thing.

It would be like a super rich man, living the high life in a deluxe apartment in the sky. Driving a Rolls Royce. Wearing a Rolex. And deciding to give it all up to trade places with the bum sleeping in a sleeping bag on the sidewalk. Only the analogy falls apart. Because the sacrifice was so much greater.

 I read the website of a nearby church the other day. On the website it explains their sunday service,

"There is a live band that will lead us in 3 songs (you can either sing along or just listen to the music) Someone will pray and say "hi" A pastor will give a message that is relevant to your life  ...and the whole thing will be over in about 70 minutes".

It's like a fast-food dinner...but, church. Fast- church. We don't want to take up your time. And you are offered the opportunity to be a spectator. To sit in your seat and watch, instead of entering into His presence on holy, sacred ground.

( Side note: I know the Lord can work in any situation, and maybe this is a marketing tactic to get people who would otherwise not come to church, come, and have their lives changed.)

But, it seems like we are saying to the world that everything should fit around your schedule and your lifestyle, and be of NO COST to you.

He paid a high price for your life.

He was born in a barn.

His bff denied even KNOWING who He was. He felt the weight of rejection.

He pleaded with God to not have to go through with this.

He was terrified.

He was cursed.

And beaten.

He was murdered.

But, He asked that we would be forgiven anyways.

The cost was not cheap. The cost was a perfect life.

We have been called to 'no longer be conformed by this world but to be transformed by the renewing of our mind'. And yet we are conforming. Placing our importance on staying cool instead of allowing Him to change us.

We are finding it acceptable to come as we are, but to then just stay as we are.

Romans 12:1-2 in the Message says it very clear

"1-2 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you."


It's one thing to read a blog about someone's life and to know what they are up to and to never have met them. It's quite another to talk to that person. To have a relationship with that person. To not just sit back and observe what their life is like. But to actually be a part of it.

I'm tired of us treating Jesus like a blog we're following. Knowing the stories that have been told, but not taking the time to get to know Him.

The importance is not on the knowledge of His existence, but on the relationship with Him. A relationship that orders change. To be more like Him, and less like you.

We need to stop taking lightly the freedom we've been given,

we couldn't have afforded this freedom on our own, had we tried.

It's time to start living,

like a high price was paid.

Because it was.

A very high price was paid on Calvary,  

while we sat back and watched.