Boy or Girl?

Baby Barton from the outside at 13 weeks

There has been a lot of talk around the gender of Baby Barton. Some strong theories have been presented along the way, most of which have nothing to do with anything.

Here are some of the things I've been alerted to:

-Baby Barton is a boy because you are carrying it all in the front.

-Baby Barton is a girl because you are obsessed w/ sugary sweets

-Baby Barton is a boy because the Chinese calendar says so

-Baby Barton is a girl because you were sick to your stomach in the first trimester

-Baby Barton is a boy because we need one more boy in the family to complete the starting line-up for our future basketball team

-Baby Barton is a girl because little girl clothes are way cuter than little boy clothes

-Wait, maybe the Chinese calendar said girl

-Wait, maybe you are carrying it all around, not just in the front

-Wait, I was more sick with my boy, not my girl

So to all you who have been guessing and giving me every reason in the book as to why it is whatever gender it is...you have a 50% chance of being completely wrong.

During our last ultrasound, where I was asked to go in to check for TWINS because I'm HUGE (there is only one in there no worries), our ultrasound tech gave us her guess as to this little baby's gender.

Until it's confirmed on July 6th, I'll let you all continue on with your scientific explanations of why it's a he or she. But just remember...

...you have a good chance of failing.

And Baby Barton, no pressure. You come out being whatever God made you to be. We'll welcome you with open arms, whether the next ultarsound shows us something extra, or the absence of something extra. But if you do have that something extra, you might be stuck with the name Billy Bob... Billy Bob Barton... my brain has come to a boy name block.

Baby Barton from the inside at 13 weeks. Was a very wiggly baby, even waved at us! It had hit Owen and I like a ton of bricks to see our squirmy wormy baby moving about. I almost started sobbing, but refrained. I was so overwhelmed by the miracle of this tiny little life. We are now at 16 weeks and waiting for 'the feeling'...I should start feeling him/her any day now!

A Friend Like Mine

I have this friend. She's different than just your average friend. I'll tell you some things about her, and maybe you'll understand. But, you won't. Because you have to be friends with her to get it.

I remember right after I got engaged, I wanted to ask her to be in my wedding, but I thought she might think I was weird because we hadn't known each other for that long. But I prayed about it. And I thought that was weird because I figured God wouldn't care who was in my bridal party. Oh, He cared. He answered. And in hindsight it makes sense why He told me to put her in it. And if I hadn't, well, it'd be a sad regret of mine today. I'm so glad she stood up there with me on the most important day of my life.

This weekend, she was prayed over. And something was said to the effect of "You treat your friends as Christ would". And nothing has ever been truer. If Jesus was on this Earth, I believe He would find her to be the best of friends. And I believe since I'm 2,011 years too late to walk around with Him, she might be the closest thing to a Godly friendship I can get.

We can have a conversation from across a crowded room with just one look. A full blown, 5 hour conversation. She knows what I'm thinking, I know what she's thinking, words don't even need to be exchanged. It's a done deal.

She knows my Chipotle order by heart. Now, that, that is love. AND, she buys it for me. Brings it over for dinner. Brings it by to me when I'm at work. She loves it as much as I do. And she shares it graciously.

We never go a day without speaking in some form. If we don't see each other, we are having a continual conversation through text messages that starts from about 10:30 am and ends around bed time. I know what's up with her. She knows what's up with me. At all times.

We are both sarcastic. So if you don't know us very well, we've probably offended you. Sorry. 

We have the same guilty pleasure shows. And neither of us feel guilty when we watch them with each other.

When I told her my doctor wants me eating seafood 3 times a week so Baby Barton will get some protein (since meat is my nemesis), she brought over homemade pesto pasta with shrimp.

She and another wonderful friend cleaned my house when Baby Barton was occupying my life with puking and sleeping.

I don't know anyone who doesn't like her. I know people that don't like me. But not her. 

Hell has broken down her door countless times and she fights back with a fire that I have yet to see in anyone else. And then she wipes Her savior's feet with all those expensive tears.

She encourages my faith. She makes me stand up when I'd rather be benched, but is always standing right beside me in case I fall back down. She prays for me. She cries with me. She laughs with me.

I've had hard relationships with girl's since I was young. There is something about this one that is strong and confident. That is absent of jealousy and filled with joy.

This world would be a happier place,

if everyone in it, had a friend like mine.

HANCHINAMUNCHKIN ARRIVAL!

 

The Hunchinamunchkins made their debut on May 11th, 2011! And boy, did they enter the world with a PARTAAAYY!! The Watkins'/Hanchinamani's know how to throw a celebration and these little boys were drenched in love the moment they entered the world...well, the moment we found out they existed!

Declan James came in at a whopping 6 lbs 2 oz at 9:41 am, followed a minute later by his equally adorable brother, Ethan Emery at 6 lbs. 4 oz. 

It is AMAZING. All of it. I have tears in my eyes as I write this. Thinking of the night before they were here, eating dinner with Joe and Katie, while those 2 boys sat snugly in Katie's tummy. And just a few short hours later, they were in our arms! 

It's such an amazing feeling when babies come into your life. They don't have to say anything. They don't have to do anything. Our natural reaction is to just love them with everything we have. To want to be better people for them. To want them to have better things than we had. To want them to know Jesus as early as they can comprehend Him. To want them to feel safe, and loved, and cherished. And to want them to grow up knowing they don't need to do anything to deserve it, because their aunty will love them no matter what. 

So happy for Joey and Katie. My brother has been my built- in best friend since I was born. And Katie has fit right in with that role since she became my sister. My heart is bursting for the 4 them and I can't wait for this new exciting journey the Lord has blessed us with.

For a better recap of the day from my brother's eyes, go here !

Pic from Google

 Baby Barton, I heard this song today and thought of you...

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love

--Bob Dylan

Mother's Day

I'm way behind here. I hardly remember Mother's Day this year, but it was my 'first'...technically, or untechnically? I did NOT stand up at church when they made mother's stand up, so maybe that's what will qualify me. I was however, showered by my wonderful husband on this day. A day where I was newly 11 weeks pregnant. A mother's day where I didn't know the gender of my baby. My baby's face, or smell were still only dreams to me. My baby's name has probably not even been thought up yet.  Next mother's day I will have a 5 or 6 month old bundle of joy in my arms and this life I live now will be nothing more than a distant memory. So here's what I woke up to on Mother's Day 2011:

Homemade YUMMY smoothie

Homemade Waffles

Flowers with the sweetest card

Now, just to brag a little, this is not only a mother's day occasion. This is a weekend event for me. Owen has shown me in the past 10 months of marriage that he is honestly, the kindest, most selfless, thoughtful human I have ever met in my whole life. And not just to me. I see how he is with his friends, with my friends, with my family. God could not have blessed me with a better man to be the father of my children. I am overwhelmed by him.

It's Beautiful

I thought pregnant mom's are given 9 months before their social lives become non-existent. My best friends these days are my bed and my bathroom floor. They know everything about me. How it's possible to lay down for a nap and wake up 13.5 hours later. How my husband has been on the run for every kind of popsicle and ice cream in Washington State. How a 26 year old can still cry in the middle of the night for her 'mommy'. The many conversations I've replayed over and over for the day I ever get to meet Eve face to face. What was she thinking?!

I've seen my big plans of going to India on a missions trip with my husband this summer, torn to shreds. Suddenly, our beautiful condo in downtown Edmonds seems too small. The thought that the rest of our lives will never be the same again is terrifying.  There have been fears of losing the friends we have, because do people really wanna hang out with a baby all the time? Not to mention how many times I've heard, and am sick of "Wow, you guys sure didn't waste any time"...as if I'm not aware of how long, or how NOT long, we've been married.

So, so far I have seen the bad and the ugly of pregnancy. But, I've also seen the magic. 

The look on Owen's face when he saw the baby's heart beating for the first time. A look I'll never forget. One proud papa. While my mom said over and over "God's little creation. His little miracle"
 

I've heard Owen tell some of his 25 + year old buddies on the phone that we're pregnant. To hear grown men shouting praises and approvals and their congratulations and amazement over this life that is ours, has brought so much joy to my heart. I am overwhelmed by how proud I am of the friends he has picked to be in our lives.

And my girls, to see the happy tears that have been shed over this life, the promises of help whenever it's needed and the excitement to start this journey with us, as if this child is their own. I am so overwhelmed with gratitude for the friends and family that God has blessed me with. They say it takes a village...I'd say this baby is being born into a beautiful village, ready to nurture and love this child and possibly take him or her on a few hikes ( no rock climbing).

I wrote this two days after we found out we were pregnant and I have had to go back to it a million times...

" It's been 2 days since my world changed. I think today is officially the day that I realized I want you more than anything I've ever wanted. The past 2 days I've wondered if God made some kind of mistake. If He meant to give you to someone else. Surely not us. Us with our plans of travelling the world. Or doing missions. Going on vacations. He surely made some sort of cosmic error in thinking we know how to raise a child. But your aunty Bina said something to me today that made those feeling of inadequacy go away--she reminded me that I have waited for this my whole life--that you are my destiny. She also said to me:

'Don’t forget, one of the biggest things you can do is love and raise a child up in the Lord.  The impact of that is unfathomable.  That child goes out and influences this world and huge things happen in that legacy.  This IS your ministry. ' "

So with that, it is my highest honor in life to say that this child has been given to us by a gracious God who is trusting us with this life. That it is now our responsibility to raise this child up to know, serve, and love Him and His people.

This little life has already changed mine.  I've wanted a child for as far back as my memory goes.

It's a scary thing to watch your dreams come to life.

It's terrifying and breathtaking and unsettling.

It's beautiful. 

 

One day at a Time

I had a photograph inside my mind of all I'd do.

But then,  my point of view changed the day that I met you.

There are dreams that we will grow 

and there are dreams that we let go

the only dream that I can't lose is you.

I'll be the biggest fan of any plan you call your own.

I see a willow tree, a family, a happy home.

There are dreams that we will grow 

and there are dreams that we let go.

The only dream that I can't lose is you.

As the seasons change, 

I'll walk with you down every road.

And you can count on me, you know you'll never be alone.

There are dreams that we will grow

and there are dreams that we let go.

The only dream that I can't lose, the only dream I can't bear to lose, the only dream that I can't lose is you.

-Tyrone Wells and Elina

My cousin, Nisha, sent me this song, by Tyrone Wells and his wife Elina. I'm trying to learn what dreams God wants me to let go, and which ones He wants me to grow. It's a painful process, letting dreams die. Everything I've created in my mind for myself has to be torn down. Even the ones with good intentions and pure motives behind them. You watch them crumble to the ground and suddenly nothing makes much sense anymore. It's like that moment when you let go of a balloon, into open sky. You can still see it. But no matter how high you try to jump, you know it will soon be gone forever. I feel like that. Like I can still see some dreams, but they are no longer within reach.

But it's a beautiful process watching other dreams grow. The one's I know I can't lose. The dreams where God made the blueprints and is trusting me to build.

My dreams are in sure danger of collapsing if they aren't built on His.

So I'm choosing His.

One day at a time.