Why I Have No Time To Blog

A lot has happened as of late. Like for instance, it's our 2 year wedding anniversary!

But for Jace.

In a 24 hour time period he...

...learned how to sit up. So refused to lay down to sleep. SO. Fell asleep. Sitting up.

Perfected crawling. So. I can't keep him in one spot any longer. Which is why he did a somersault off our bed. Thankfully, all this activity has kept us as messy as ever and the pile of pillows next to  our bed caught his fall.

Figured out how to stand up in his crib and lean over to swipe at his night stand. Knocking EVERYTHING over. He also won't sleep for the first 2 hours of bed time  because he stands up and can't figure out how to get back down. So he just screams until we get him back down. Then proceeds to stand up again.

Figured out how to use things to pull himself up so he can grab stuff he's not supposed to have. Like in this instance, the video camera.

And when he gets caught, he has the audacity to put on this face. "Wasn't me."

Yea right, kid. I'm onto you. Keep it up and I won't have time for a shower til you're 18.

Little Life Lesson #2

Romans 5:3-5 "And not only this, but ^[c]we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; ⁴ and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; ⁵ and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

This is the face of a very determined, frustrated, little boy. He's almost got it. He gets up on all 4's all on his own now and rocks. Back and forth. The object of his affection (usually my cell phone) is within reach but all he can manage to do is rock back and forth. Sometimes, he'll even wake us up in the middle of the night screaming his head off in his crib. On all 4's. Rocking. Back. And Forth.

As a mama, it's sad (and kinda funny) to watch him try so hard and not succeed. I can see it in his eyes, on his eyebrows, in his cry, he just wants to move.The passion is so deep that it overwhelms him when he tries and ends up on his face. But, I know that one day, he WILL get there.

Sometimes I try to help him. I put one hand in front of the other. Alternate knee scooting. But, there is no satisfaction for him in that. I know that once he figures out how to mobilize his own limbs he will be much more satisfied than when his mama does it for him.

So, I'll sit back and watch and wait and pick him up when the frustration is too unbearable.

But soon and very soon, kid. You're gonna fly. And I'll be your loudest cheeleader.

Reminds me of me. And all the times I can't do it. And all the times I want God to just fix all the messes, scoot me forward. But, where is the satisfaction in that? He knows I WILL get there. It's through the trying and falling where the learning happens. Until it all comes together and we see forward motion. It was worth the sweat and tears. It's then that I know He let me go through it for the satisfaction that comes in the end. 

And there He waits.

My biggest fan.

1st Father's Day

We celebrated Father's Day by hearing my bff, Mel J, hit a homer out of the park with her awesome sermon!

Then we went out to lunch at Las Brisas where I tried the Dungeness Crab Enchiladas..mmmm. Decided to take Owen down the Meadowdale Beach Trail which was so much fun! When we got to the beach my free spirted husband ran into the freezing cold water as it began to rain. Jace watched and laughed. I can just see the 2 of them once Jace figures out how to stand up. I see trouble in the near future.We then finished up the day with a BBQ at Joekat's house where Rupal and Emmi told us they are preggo!! Wasn't a bad day at all :)

So Owen is one of those guys who is not into public displays of affection. He has told me on multiple occasions he would rather I told him to his face or wrote him a card if I had something nice (and probably not nice) I wanted to say about him--not post it on Facebook. It's much less genuine. But I'm breaking the rules for my Father's Day post.

Obers. Jace and I are so lucky to have you. God blew all my expectations out of the water when he gave me you. You are easily one of the hardest working guys I know. At 26 you have managed to buy us a house, 2 cars, work your job (while allowing me to stay home with Jace), study for your CPA (and already passed 2!), workout and stay in shape, spend time with your friends, do the dishes and fold my clothes;), all the while keeping God, me and Jace your priority. I didn't think there were enough hours in the day or enough discipline in a human to accomplish so much.You inspire me. You entertain me. You provide for me. You are adventurous and outgoing, yet maintain a humble heart and a quiet spirit. You are gentle, yet strong. You are full of wisdom and full of grace. Every time I find the bad in something (or someone) you always make sure to point out the good. Always. even if it annoys me. Or even if I am right:) The way you love that little boy of ours. Watching you become a dad has been one of the greatest joys in my life. Nothing you could ever do will ever compare to the way that makes me feel. The way Jace looks at you, it's like he sees his whole world in your eyes. How lucky am I that you are the father of my children. That they will have all your qualities to study, soak up, and mirror. I am so thankful for you. For how you selfelessly lead and for how you love. Happy 1st Father's Day to the guy who made all my dreams come true!

Extraordinary

My goodness my Jace. Every time I think I can't love you anymore, you go and do more amazing things. The stretch marks on my heart are big, fat and ugly because of you.

You my little pal, are amazing. You poop on the toilet all the time now. You love it, you laugh at it, you find joy in it...you are all BOY! 6 months and some change and you love pooping on the toilet. I couldn't be prouder than if you were walking across a stage with a diploma in your hand.

You love eating. Everything. If someone is eating something you open your mouth and your head shakes because you want it so bad. Even if it's a stranger's chow mein at the Edmonds Art Festival.

You are happy. Always. The end.

You got your daddy's survivor instincts. The other day I left you to play in your room and when I walked back in, you had somehow (because you aren't crawling yet...so somehow) made your way around your room to gather up 2 swaddles. One to use as a pillow and one to use as a blanket. You cozied yourself up and fell asleep right there on the floor. I never heard a peep from you. You did all this Mcgyver-ing on your own.

Daddy took you swimming for the first time last week. It was LOUD so you seemed a little weary, but I think you liked it. We are gearing you up for that life of adventure your dad's always talking about. But, I think you liked it even more when we changed you on the bleachers because when the time was right, and your diaper was off, you peed straight into the air for like 5 minutes, I swear.

You love playing by yourself. Having a mama who thrives when being around people, it kind of makes me sad how independant you are and how content you are to just hang out by your lonesome. But it's also very convenient when I need to get ready or eat breakfast.

But there are times when you aren't so independant. Usually we just put you in your crib (sans swaddle now, you're such a big boy!) and you fall asleep all on your own for the next 12 hours. But once in a very blue moon, you have a hard time falling asleep. I walked into your room 3 times tonight to find you wrestling with your owl. So I scooped you up. rocked you in your rocking chair, youtubed Nisha aunty's song for cousin Kenz and sang it to you while one of your hands rubbed the fabric on my shirt, the other rested on my heart and you were looking up at me with your eyes locked on mine. My body filled with baby butterflies and I etched that moment into my soul where I'll keep it forever.

The other day when I was thinking about you and praying for you, the Lord gave me the word 'extraordinary'. You, love of my life, were born to be extraordinary. Those hands will be used for something other. Your potential, your capabilities, your love...more than anything I can dream up for you.

I'm so excited to have front row seats to extraordinary. The glimpses I've seen have been enough for a 'a thousand years'. But, I have a feeling those stretch marks on my heart haven't seen nothin yet.

iLife

Iphone, Ipad, Itouch, Ipod, I.I.I.I.I.

The world in which I live in today tells me that everything should be all about me. The shirt on my very back today, in little writing by the tag says, "My Life. My World. My Decree." Everywhere I go I am bombarded by this thought that it's about me. Even this blog...well...it's about me and my life and my thoughts.

Technology has now provided us with plenty of forums to make things about us. Twitter, Blogs, Pinterest, Facebook, all allow the user to glamourize themselves. Facebook, for example, is a community where we can put up the pictures that we want people to see us as, the good ones. Not the ones where our gut is hanging over our jeans or our zit looks huge from that angle, but the ones that have been shaded over by photoshop or the one that was taken 1200 times before it finally looked right. We can 'Like' the statuses and photos of the people we want to be associated with or we can not 'Like' the statuses or photos of people we are jealous of, envious of, find annoying, appalling, whatever it may be, it's our world and we can document it however we want. Accepting the "friends" we want, blocking the ones we don't want, 'checking in' to whatever cool restaurant we are at with whatever cool people.

We live in a society where we have the ability to present to the world a flawless picture of our lives. We can talk about how amazing our friends and family are so everyone can ooh and aww, while in real life, we are constantly tearing them down, ignoring them, rejecting them. We are learning how to ride on the accolades of others by putting on a show, a false reality. While leaving little concern about our actions in the real world.

Don't get me wrong. There are plenty of great things Facebook and other social networking sites can do. I am friends with people now, that I would have never been friends with had it not been for Facebook. I can put up pictures of Jace so that my family over in India can see him growing day by day instead of developing and mailing pictures to the hundreds of people over there. I've found great recipes on Pinterest. Blogging is my own little outlet. I like writing. And it's cool to look back on and see lessons I've learned along the way or seasons of life I've passed through. But also, it's all just fun. Pictures are fun. Leaving comments for your friends is fun.

But if you stop to think about it, how else is this all being used? To bring glory to our own lives? To, in a way, manufacture ourselves as Facebook "celebrities", with the perfect kids, perfect jobs, perfect friends, perfect families, perfect bodies? We are looking to portray our own strengths. To keep things in our control so we can show the world what we want them to see. And what exactly are we showing the world? That we are living lives that are unattainable?

Romans 12: 2 in the Message says "Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. ... Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you."

How easy has it become to fall into our culture. To use social platforms for our own social gain?  To get obsessed and fixate on ourselves rather than maybe using these social outlets for HIS glory. Whatever happened to Him being strong in our weakness? Or us being perfected by His blood...not by an Instagram filter.

Matthew 10:39 says,  "If your first concern is to look after yourself, you'll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you'll find both yourself and me."

If we want Him to be the leader in our lives we need to stop being so concerned with our own image. We are more apt to following the sneaky schemes some marketing executives thought up in some board room, instead of listening and following a Perfect, Holy, King who decided to walk in our dirt and speak Life into us. Life that is made perfect by His perfection. Not our own.

1st Mother's Day

My first REAL Mother's Day was so amazing. I still remember last year when I wrote this post, before I even knew Jace's name or gender. This year, he was mine. In my arms to love and cuddle and it was so perfect.

Jace was dedicated at church that morning and we were able to publicly express that we intend to raise Jace up to know the Lord. It gives me goosebumps all over. I was in a pool of thankfulness to have so many people there who supported him and us.

Owen also suprised me with this beautiful table that I love oh so much! I married the best of them. Really.

We then had our whole family over for a Mother's Day BBQ. The sun was shining, the company was wonderful, the food was delicious and said table was filled to capacity.

I'll never forget my first Mother's Day. I can never get enough of the boy who made me a mama.

Daydreaming

I woke up this morning with a sharp pain in my chest. I could hardly catch my breath. A heart attack at the ripe old age of 27?

Nope.

I have a lot of hearts. One morphed into a little ball of Jace. One I gave to Owen. One is still in my chest. But there is one that I buried. In a far off land. Somewhere over in Europe.

The heart of my youth stays contained over there. Not sure if I just left in London, or if I took it with me and scattered it around Spain, Italy, and France. Not Amsterdam though. That was a mess.

Before I got married I had the amazing opportunity to do an internship in London with my bestfriend. We then got to travel and it quickly became my favorite thing to do. Ever. I loved meeting new people, embracing new cultures, seeing how much more amazing life was outside of the 4 walls of the U.S. I loved how after work, people didn't just go home and huddle in their houses. Rain or shine the restaurants spilled over into sidwalks as coworkers, friends, and strangers carried on over drinks and food. The lifestyle was a constant party, them Europeans know how to celebrate a Monday.

It was magical. Those 4 months. Pure magic. Every corner I turned was the possibility of meeting my future husband, included with thick English (Posh) accent. Every night produced unforgettable memories and friends. Every site left me breathless and wanting to pause life for an eternity. And I knew that when my 4 months were over, I either needed to permanently move to Europe, find a job, settle down and make it home. OR, I was going to make it my life's goal to get out of America at least once a year.

Well, that happened. For like 4 years. Until the year I got married. And we went to Hawaii for our Honeymoon. Hawaii. The 50th state. Almost made it.

8 months later. I was pregnant.

And then. I watched my dreams turn into the faintest light. Until I could barely see them anymore. And 9 months later, all my dreams turned into one... Jace Michael. He is my dream. Every time I look at him I see hope and a future. He has been my dream since I was a little girl.

But today. I feel like I'm undergoing some type of heart surgery. That the Lord is doing CPR on my other dreams and giving them back to me. I might not know exactly what that looks like, and it certainly won't be turning corners hoping some thick accented English man will sweep me off my feet. But maybe it will include the amazing, adventurous man I was blessed with and our child who is the happiest, easiest going baby. Maybe God blessed me with these two to be my very own travelling companions, ready to eat up the world with me. To serve, to love, to explore, to learn.

I have no idea. These thoughts are as fresh as they were pounded out on the keyboard.

But I must say, today feels new. It feels refreshing.

Sometimes it's worth it.

To get lost in your daydreams.