The Day You Were Born: Cole Isaac Barton

My sweet, precious Cole baby. You have arrived, and your timing was impeccable! On May 11th, 2014, which also happened to be Mother's Day and the twins' birthday this year, I woke up feeling slightly terrible and wondering if this might be the day.

It was the perfect day. The sun was shining as your dad, brother and I headed off to church. The service was so amazing. I cried the whole time in thankfulness for all God has done and wants to do in our lives and I had this peace about you. I was finally ready to be a mama of 2 as all the nervous, scared butterflies fluttered away that morning. Mother's Day would be the perfect day to become a mom again.

We picked your brother up from Sunday school and I got my first handmade Mother's Day project ever! It had a poem and a tracing of his hand that he was SO proud of. Yes! I thought. I'm so ready for more of this, I'm so ready to meet my baby.

We decided after church to take advantage of such a beautiful day and take the ferry to Kingston with Joe uncle, Katie Aunty and the twins.  As we were walking onto the ferry I looked at your dad and said 'I don't know if going across the ferry is the best idea right now.' He was all for turning around and walking off but I kept thinking how lame it would be to miss out on a fun, sunny day if my 'feeling' was off and you didn't come. So we went. We ventured further into the water, which meant further away from dry land where the hospital resided as I wondered 'what if this ferry breaks down and I have my baby on it in the middle of the water. '

But we made it! We made it to Kingston (as did the rest of the world) and we stood in line for what seemed an eternity to order crepes. My contractions started coming on pretty strong, but I thought I might just be dehydrated. As I winced a little more with each one, Katie aunty made me time them...they were coming about 2-3 minutes apart. After a fun picnic on the grass followed by your dad, uncle, brother and cousins playing some football, I looked at your dad and said 'We need to go. Like now. We need to get on the next ferry.' I think you wanted in on some of that football action so were trying to make your escape.

Everyone on the ferry who saw me asked with concern when I was due, 'NOW! Right now. I'm going to the hospital when this ferry gets us back.' One guy told me not to worry, 'my wife's a paramedic! And I have a pocket knife!' Never in my life have I wanted to be on dry land so badly.

Joe uncle called grandma, who was supposed to be working at the hospital (in labor and delivery--where we were headed) that night, and told her we were on a ferry and my contractions were 3 minutes apart. Your grandma about had a heart attack and told us to get back over to Edmonds, NOW!

My plan was to go home, put Jace down for a nap, take a nap myself and decide in an hour if I was really in labor. But, as we docked I knew there would be no final nap. You were coming. So we dropped Jace off with your Barton grandparents, grabbed our bags and headed straight for the hospital where your grandma was waiting for me. She traded in her nurse badge for her mama/grandma badge that night. I love her for that. She is the most amazing nurse, mom and grandma and we're so lucky she's ours--she played all her roles flawlessly.

The whole day was quite an adventure filled with stolen moments and happy reminders of how much I love this life.

And then you arrived. All 7 pounds 9 ounces of you made the most beautiful day so incredibly perfect. Your brother arrived on Thanksgiving Day, a day where thankfulness kept the air so warm and sweet. I love that you arrived on Mother's Day, what better way to celebrate motherhood than to welcome a baby into the world? It was a day that was a beautiful reminder of the honor and joy it is to be a mom. And it was on that day my mother's heart was multiplied, it was that day that I knew that I knew I was born for this--to be the mom of Jace and Cole Barton. My greatest gifts. 

Since the moment I saw you I fell in love, just like everyone promised I would. You are everything I didn't know we were missing. And your dad was beaming over every inch that made up your little, tiny self. Just as proud as that day he met Jace.

 

 

The next day when Jace came to meet you, I cried the happiest tears I've ever cried. I was so worried about his reaction but he pranced right in, SO proud of his brother. He couldn't stop telling anyone who would listen 'that's my little brother! That's my little brother!' Smile stretching from ear to ear. It was the best reaction I could've ever dreamed up for the beginning of your brotherhood. And the excitement hasn't stopped. Everyday since you arrived he has shown extreme love and excitement over you. He absolutely adores you and wants to do everything with you and for you. Like telling me you need a binky if you're crying, insisting on pushing your stroller, and getting caught a couple times with the nose bulb 'just trying to get baby Cole's boogers out!'

It's been a few weeks since that day we first laid eyes on you. We're a bit tired in the Barton house, but so far you are a calm, sweet little guy who is just absolutely adored by everyone who meets you.

We are smitten. I dream of the days we get to learn what kind of personality you have, the things that bring you joy and the things that irritate you. The days ahead full of belly laughs between you and Jace. There's so much I'm dreaming about.

But, for now, I'm enjoying tiny, little you with your long eye lashes and cute little mouth. This baby boy who right now, is finding everything he needs in his mama.

Wow. What an honor it is to be yours.

Love you, my sweet Cole boy!

Brother

Jace, buddy.

We are weeks, possibly days away from you claiming your new title as big brother.

Every time I look at you my heart beams with pride at who you are. We still call you our baby but you have full on conversations with us now, you make us laugh and make us think-- you are so independent that "baby" doesn't really fit you anymore.

The thought crushes me a little remembering just 2.5 years ago we were swaddling you and rocking you and figuring out how in the world to do this parent thing.

Thank you for letting us do our practicing on you, for being our guinea pig. For letting us make mistakes and try things out and for showing us how easy it is to fall completely in love in the most pure, unselfish way we could ever know. For coming in and shaking things up, changing our world, forcing us to grow up while simultaneously clinging to our youth and reliving the preciousness of childhood with you.

I'm so excited that you will have a new buddy. An at home friend who will go with you wherever you go and look up to you and learn from you. Who you can play games with and laugh with and share all kinds of life with. Who you will build this foundation with as a child that will follow you into adulthood. There's so much to be thrilled about. Siblings are simply the best.

But, I'm just a little nervous for that period before you actually realize all this. That transition of you realizing that your mommy and daddy are someone else's mommy and daddy now, too. That our time and attention will now be divided. My prayer is that you don't ever confuse that with our love. Our love will only multiply from here on out for you and your brother--we may mess up at times, but the love will remain. It will never run dry, it is an endless well that you can drink from no matter how old you are or where in the world you are or in what stage of life you are in-- it will always be yours for the taking.

Thank you for the last 2.5 years. They're in the record books as the best yet.  Thank you for teaching me so much about me. My weaknesses, my flaws, my strengths, and my dreams. You have filled my life to overflowing and the joy you bring me can't be contained in words. I love you so very much it hurts. You have given me the greatest gift in making me a mama.

As we close this chapter of your only child days let's move forward together. Let's go discover all the beautiful things that are awaiting us--wrapped up in this one tiny, new life that only you will forever get to call,

"my little brother."