TWO.

2 years ago you were born on Thanksgiving Day. Your face is my daily reminder of all the beautiful things my heart is constantly whispering its thanks for. It was 2 years ago when we first got to look into each other's eyes as I cried my happy tears and you cried your first sounds. But, I feel like I've known you forever. You can't possibly just have 2 years tethered to my 28. You were a part of me long before and seeing your face just breathed life into the gaps of me that were waiting for your air.

I'm so proud of you, Jace. As I see you shed your baby face and grow into that little boy body my heart beams with pride and cracks just a little because I know my days of scooping you into my lap won't be forever.

But, I love who you are and who I see you becoming. This little boy who loves people. You pay attention to them--the things they like, the things they do, even the color of their eyes. And you remember those things for the next time you see them. Don't lose that. Someday, people will love and appreciate you for looking into their eyes and taking the time to care about who they  really are. You aren't a surfacey person, you are interested in depth. You are full of compassion. You say hi to everyone at the grocery store and give them your real smile, the one that paints across your whole face. You proved to be a great international traveler and loved all things India. You love sports and make boy grunts and wrestle with your dad, but you also sing "Jesus Loves Me", you remind us to pray, you love babies, and you kiss mommy's forehead when she doesn't feel well. You're the perfect blend of all things wonderful.

Buddy boy. As we take another trip around the sun, I can say this will be a big year for us. It's been quite a joy to have you all to ourselves. One little guy to give our heart and soul and attention to. One little guy for all our kisses and bed time stories. But, this year, you will become a big brother. And all these things that were only yours you will be sharing. I can't tell you how excited I am to think of you with your own friend for life.One of the first thoughts that came to me when I found out I was pregnant was your face. Tears filled my eyes as my heart burst knowing all the joy that was coming your way. Though it may be hard at first, this is going to be one of the best things to happen to you. Having 2 older brothers and cousins (who were more like sisters) I know.They are my only 'friends' that are in all my memories growing up and in all my visions of the future-- truly lifelong. I can't wait for you to experience that. All the inside jokes only you guys will get, all the weird, quirky things that will tie you together and make you laugh. All the things in life you will endure together and lean on each other through. It will be unlike anything you could have ever hoped for.

Til then, you get us all to yourself and I am cherishing these last few months of your only child days.

We're still dancing between the galaxies and playing hopscotch among the stars, but every day it's all getting a little brighter and our universe is looking more marvelous.

Happy number 2, baby boo. I love you more than you'll ever know.

On Earth As it is in Heaven

There are certain moments in life when heaven softly falls down and covers the earth you are standing on, like a blanket of snow. 

Those moments range from things like saying goodbye to a loved one for the last time, welcoming a new child onto the earth, standing in a torrential downpour in the mountains of Mexico, or even a stranger offering to help you change your tire. 

Regardless of the gravity of the situation, these moments can never leave you the same because suddenly, the same isn't quite good enough. When you've realized the ground your feet are kissing is actually Holy Ground, your world demands a sudden change. 

When I was in India, this very thing happened to me. We were in a little village called Bendigeri. The moment we stepped foot on that soil my lungs exchanged earthly air for heaven's. 

The children there overwhelmed me. With not many "things", according to my western standards, I learned so much from the love radiating from their hugs and smiles and laughter. From their kindness to strangers, like the little girl who offered me her bed if I wanted to stay to their hard work ethic in the scorching heat as they made bricks. I learned quickly that they didn't need a lot of "things" to enjoy the lives they were given. 

Since the moment we left, I haven't been able to shake them. Their faces light up the warmest memories in my heart. They gave me so much in my few hours with them that have changed my lifetime, I can't not give them something back. Here are a few of the many who left their mark:

This is Kavita. She is in the 5th grade and is 11 years old. Her mother died giving birth to her and her father remarried and left Kavita in her grandmother's home, while he moved on with his new family. Since then, her grandmother has been taking care of her, but is now unable to work due to her age and health. Kavita and her grandmother are currently struggling to make ends meet and afford basic needs such as hygiene products and school supplies.

This is Yeshawanth. He is in the 5th grade and is 11 years old.

He has one older sister and one younger sister. His father is blind so his mother is working in agriculture to support the family. She makes very little money and is struggling to provide basic needs for her family as well. 

This is Deepa. She is in the 4th grade and is 10 years old. She has an older sister in 7th grade and a younger brother who is 3 years old. Her father did electrical work and in 2001 he fell from an electrical pole and hurt his leg very badly. He has not been able to work ever since. Her mother is now responsible for taking care of the whole family and doesn't make very much money. They are also struggling to afford basic needs. 

This is Prashant. He is 16 years old and is mentally disabled. His father had a heart attack while he was driving and passed away. His mother is now alone, working as a daily labor worker and is earning very little money. She is having a hard time paying for the extra care and treatment he needs.

This is Nagamma. She is 24 years old. Her father hanged himself and since then, her mother had been taking care of her. Nagamma is now studying for her Bachelors of Education, but her mother has been diagnosed with Tuberculosis. She is now struggling to continue her education because her money and time are going towards taking care of her mother.

These are just a few of the many people in the village who are struggling to get by. On top of that, their church/school/only real "building" in the village was destroyed by a flood.

Jesus has been so kind to stir up this passion in me and then to give me the opportunity to plug up this hole in my heart and DO something about it. My MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group has decided to take up Bendigeri as our International Service Project this year. We have contacts over in India to send money to that will buy the kids who are in need: school supplies, hygiene products, possibly a keyboard since the kids love learning worship music but don't have a keyboard, and possibly help to fix their community's church, depending on how much money is raised. 

With the holidays coming up, it's the best time to look at all we, our friends, family and children have been blessed with. It's a good time to give up coffee once a week and give that money to someone who might be in need or to encourage our kids to set aside allowance money to bless others. We can show them pictures and stories or take them to places where they can understand how blessed their lives are and how they can bless others. I know there are plenty of local places that take donations like clothes, food, time, or money. Choose one that tugs on your heart strings. But, let's start being intentional with what we've been blessed with and and intentional with our little generation as we instill in them the joy and privilege of giving--not just taking.





So, before you make your wish list and get lost in all the hustle and bustle of the holidays, let's remember how much more there is in what we give! Let's be a part of doing His will...on earth as it is heaven. 

If anyone is interested in donating to this little place in India that has stolen my heart, email me at lisahanchinamani03@yahoo.com or send me a Facebook message! They would appreciate any amount of money you can give.

Some of the kids in the village 

The church/school before it was damaged by the flood

Young boys helping make bricks

Conquering a Milestone

There are a few milestones in life that I have been terrified of ever since I was little. My driver's license test (I failed the first time and still can't parallel park, so should have stayed at failure status, but I fooled someone at the DMV, so joke's on them). My SAT's (been there done that, no one cares). Getting my wisdom teeth pulled (they are still there, I'm still scared, this is well overdue, might need an intervention). Giving birth (rightfully so). Being pregnant while having a toddler.

I'm currently living one of the very things I've been afraid of all my life.  And it. is. scary.

I am Miserable with a capital M. I throw up at any given hour of the day and if I'm not throwing up I'm wishing I am throwing up or wishing I am unconscious. I can't even describe to anyone who doesn't know this feeling, what it's all about. It's unlike anything in life. I mean imagine if someone threw you into the bottom of a boat or strapped you into the world's worst roller coaster and said "Goodbye. This is your new life for the next 3+ MONTHS. Oh and we're throwing a toddler in with you." But, it's 10 TIMES WORSE. It's unlike anything comparable to anything. And the heartburn! The heartburn that keeps you up all night long because it literally feels like your esophagus has caught on fire and it takes everything in you not to call the fire department to bring all their hoses and put this thing OUT OF MY MISERY.

The worst is when I hear other moms say how they never got sick. Pregnancy was so glowy and beautiful and lovely. In what world?! Sign me up! I want that pregnancy. I mean, I feel like I am actually Eve in the garden and I am receiving the full wrath of childbirth pains solely on me. It's good I don't believe in reincarnation or I'd have to believe I was a seriously awful person in some other life.

And my body. I just recently lost all my baby weight and then some. And now here we are. 3 months in and I already have a "bump" the size of a basketball. Every thing feels uncomfortable except for Owen's sweats. I just fit back into my skinny skinny jeans and now I'm back into MEN'S sweats?! I mean. Do I get to catch any breaks at all?

And then there's Jace. God Bless Jace. He's a good kid. But, when I was pregnant with him I just slept every chance I got. Now. I can't. Because of him. He's here now, out in the world, and so I must entertain him. Poor Jace's life consists of the iPad, and granola bars, and mommy laying on the couch pretending to watch him play but really taking 2 second naps every time he's not looking.

It's just. SO HARD to be ALIVE.



And then this.

We saw this. And we saw a flickering heartbeat. And it became real. Because one time I saw this.

And it became this.

And my world was never the same again.

A human is growing inside my body and every second cells are forming and creating and designing a baby that will change our lives and our world forever. This baby will make Jace a big brother and Owen and I parents of 2 and the thought makes my heart so wildly and insanely happy.

Well, that I can confidently say, makes conquering this terrifying milestone so worth it.

So, baby. Whatever you're doing in there to make me sick, I'll let it slide, because I'm counting on you to shine your light into the spaces of our hearts that we haven't even discovered yet.

And really, I'm just so honored that I get to be your mama. It makes everything else pale in comparison.

Even the puke.

(And no, the irony is not lost on me that my previous post was about not complaining and enjoying each moment of life.)