5 months

5 months old my little bud. How do I push reset? And not so I can do anything different, but so that I can do it all over and over again. Every single second has been joy (well, maybe there were one or two days where I was sick, you were screaming non-stop, I threatened to put you in the garage?)..Ok so minus those...you are my JOY little guy.

You are such a little person now. You are becoming less and less like a baby and more and more like a little boy with your own little personality. Your doctor said you are 'developmentally advanced'...well duh, look at your parents. And that laugh I talked about at 3 months...oh it's 10 times better and louder and at all the right moments.

You pooped on the potty at 3 months old. Twice. I seriously think that's a record. You're a freaking genius. You freak out when  you see your bottle and need it instantly. You love taking baths, it's your fave ever.  You don't need to be rocked to fall asleep anymore, you do it all on your own, and it makes me sad:( Waiters and waitresses always ask me if you're always so good. You are. You eat rice cereal like a little goat, and you mean business. You love it. You cry when other babies cry, you're so compassionate:)  You can rock a mullet like nobody's business. You scream before your nighttime bottle, but after it, you talk and talk and laugh and laugh before we put you down to sleep. It's the most bittersweet moment of the day...it's your sweetest moment, but we have to say goodbye. You sleep for 12 hours. THANK YOU, JESUS! You're scared of the twins, rightfully so. They're big, and there's 2.

You love your dad like nothing else. You watch everything he does with a look of awe on your face. The way the spoon goes in his mouth, the way he buttons his shirt, the way he sings all the wrong words...he's got your attention. And that makes me relieved more than anything because the world needs more guys like your daddy. If you're watching his every move, then the future of this world is looking blindingly bright.

You love people. Especially girls as of late. Of all ages. You don't discriminate. You flash your pearly gums and bat those gorgeous lashes and they all ooh and aww and you'll take it. I'm hoping this phase will phase out before you reach Kindergarten.

You love it when you're pants are off. Also, hoping that goes away before Kindergarten.

Speaking of Kindergarten. Ew. It makes me sick. Like, I would lie if I could, but I've maybe cried once or twice or ten times thinking about you going to school. Leaving the safety net of me and you and dad and all our family and close friends. It makes me sick. Kids are mean. And if anyone is ever mean to you I will probably have to beat them up. And I don't think I'll have to worry about you being mean, with the gum flashing and the daddy watching, you'll be kind a boy. You are a kind boy.

You love dogs. Love. Them. They bark and you always look up at me with the biggest smile, just to make sure I can hear it, too.

Bud, you are changing me. Things in me are lightening up. My life feels less heavy with you in it. I feel like I'm floating. My worries have changed. They aren't so much about me anymore. You've taught me how to love outside of me. You've taught me not to take things so seriously. Not to let people bring me down. You've helped me let go of many of my insecurities.You've brought me into a world of big smiles and laughs and Elmo galore. And I like this world. It's where I belong.

You're smart, you're sweet and you are YUMMY. It's my favorite word for you right now because I constantly want to eat you up. You and your chubby legs, your crazy flapping arms, your fatty cheeks, your tiny mouth...YUM.EE.

Thank you, Jacey Pies. For bringing me here. To this place I don't deserve. I'm on a cloud in your sky.