One Year.

Happy First Birthday, little bud!!

Last Thanksgiving I was in the hospital knowing that by the end of the day my whole life was going to be different.

I love that you were born on Thanksgiving. I love that as I looked on my Facebook newsfeed there were endless posts about all the things we have to be thankful for. You were brought into this world on a day where people stop to reflect on how much blessing there is in this life. Your world was blanketed by hearts of  appreciation. The coziness of love fills the atmosphere as we take one day out of the year to unanimously say we are thankful.

That was the air you got to breathe for the first time. A world filled with the breath of gratefulness.

I remember a pregnancy that was somewhat traumatic. I remember grieving for that kidney. Literally. The grief cycle--denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance...over a kidney that you never had.

I remember time and time again where I had to rely on the promise the Lord so clearly spoke to me, that He would provide for us.

I remember when our favorite doctor said 'your next push is going to bring your son into the world.'

11:32 PM. Thanksgiving Day. I remember the sound of your cry. I remember when your eyes found mine. I remember holding you and knowing my forever was changed. A heart filled with a joy it had never known.

The Lord wanted to show me how rich His grace is when He brought you to our family on a day of gratitude. He promised me 5 days before I was pregnant that "Greater things are yet to come" and I hung on to those words for dear life, in the midst of fear, feelings of inadequacy, and pain.

Here I am a year later. How could I have possibly known? You were worth it all. No, not just worth the nausea and anxiety and grief. You were worth every day of my life leading up to you. Every tear, every piece of broken heart, every day of anguish, every laugh, every smile...it all lead up to you, it was all worth it. You make life completely worth it.

You have changed me. You have changed your dad. You have changed our family. You have changed my friendships.

In one year, you have taught me more than I could learn in a lifetime. You've brought me out of the constraints of my world. We're playing hopscotch on stars, we're dancing between the galaxies.

My soul is forever tattooed with a joy I met just one year ago.

Jace Michael Barton.

You're it.

And I thank you.